I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
