If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
