winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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