I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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