I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
