I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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