So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
