and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
