He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize