do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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