Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
