I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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