Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
