when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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