I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This is my gift to your gina
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
