am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
