so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
