So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
