I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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