If i come over, it means nothing
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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