You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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