I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
