i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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