i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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