Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
