Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
