Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
