so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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