i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sext me about skeletons
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
