Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
