Clothes are such an inconvenience.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
