I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
