I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
