i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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