The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
