i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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