Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
