it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
