Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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