Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
