My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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