I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
