How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
