angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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