How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
