he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
