My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
