forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
