I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
