Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize