On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Everyone says I win the strip club
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize