I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
