Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
