I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
