I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
