i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My penis needs a shock collar
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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