You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
