apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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