We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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