so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize