so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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