Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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