wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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