He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
