why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk is not a location!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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