Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
