what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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