But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
